For my Sister and Best Friend, Alicia.
Just a girl....
Tuesday, July 4, 2023
Until we meet again Alicia!!!!!!!!!!! Feb 2023
Plan, planning, planner,
I became a planner, many many years ago. At the ripe old age of 10 years old, I planned my wedding, my house, my baby shower, and EVERYTHING...... However, I vividly remember planning my house out of the Sears catalog. I would cut out each little thing I liked and put it on the page for which it would be used.
I never really knew why I did that or what made me want to even do that. However, I cut and glued many many items; furniture, textiles for the rooms, and kitchens, the tools I needed, the pots and pans, etc.
So when I daydreamed about my adult kitchen..... or bedroom. I had a visual of what that was. It was easier to believe it could happen if I had something to visualize. It was a vision board of sorts.
fast forward many years later, when I bought my first house I did the same thing except on a different scale. I had a binder with paint colors, room measurements, and must-haves. Once I started collecting furniture and items, this made it easier to plan.
It has been 11 years since I planned to decorate a new house. Praise Jesus, I am planning decor for a new house for Scott and I. I am ecstatic for us to have a house together. I just cannot wait to have a house that we furnish together. So these days I find myself with a notebook and a pencil drawing out rooms and placing my furniture. This time I am trying to remember what I have in storage and what I have that is boxed up.
However, I am super happy to be embarking on this new journey with Scott. We both need something happy after the past couple of years. So we are praying that this is our chance at a life created for us by us and BLESSED by God.
So if you see me in Walmart with my measuring tape, binder, pencils, and calculator, it is just me doing my planning without the Sears catalog.
If you see Scott in Lowes looking confused, just realize that I sent him a detailed list that makes no sense.
Anyhow, for now, we are eternally grateful for the wonderful family and friends who have been the catalyst for this move. Thank you very much. We need a fresh start. I cannot wait to start decorating and planning a housewarming party. :) For those friends that we won't live next to any longer. You wonderful people are the salt of the earth and Scott and I will do anything we can for any of you. Don't worry we arent going very far. So, we expect you to visit us once we get everything put together. :)
Tuesday, July 12, 2022
God Loves the Broken..... (originally posted 4-19-2022 on facebook)
God Loves the Broken….
I haven’t blogged in a while…. which happens when I get too busy to process my daily thoughts, much less the meaning of life. Today I had a life lesson that I felt led to share.
This morning, I went to the grocery store to get some ground
beef for dinner. I grabbed my buggy and zoomed
through the produce section. There was a
produce manager there working who caught my eye. However, just beyond her was a bucket of
beautiful spring flowers. I immediately
thought of several people who could use a cheerful hello. So, I quickly made a detour around to the
flowers near the produce manager.
I leaned down to look at the flowers and I thought “oh
great, I am going to need reading glasses even sooner than I planned”. With that, I huffed and picked up the flowers
to read the price tag correctly. Sure
enough, it said $0.99. So, I questioned
the produce worker. “Ma’am, is this
price correct are these flowers just $0.99?”
She replied, “Yep, Easter is gone, and they need to go too. I am going
to throw them out soon.” I picked up one
bundle of flowers, which only had a few wilted petals. I couldn’t let those flowers go to waste.
I could see the beauty in the flowers and knew that with
just a little care…. A snip of the stem, a good soak in water…. The flowers would perk right up.
Isn’t that just like what happens when God brings us close
to him? We are weary, wilted, and can’t
imagine how our life will go on. One day
God gives us a big drink of water and shows us that we are worthy… we are
worthy of happiness, love, and life……
One of my favorite songs by the group “Sisters” says it
best. We may not understand why things
are the way they are right now. We may
not understand why we are going through this valley. We just must hold on…. To the faith that God
has a plan for our life. We may not see
it yet…. But a day will come.
“I will understand it better by and by somehow….
heartache will not last forever, and yet for now….. His PLAN keeps unfolding
and glory lies ahead…. I don’t see it yet….
I don’t see it yet…… But a day will come……. “
So, for now, let’s just keep trying to see the beauty in
those “flowers” that just need a little “water” and care. It could be what helps someone more than you
realize. You never know when someone is
going through a dark place. So, if I can
take some wilted flowers to those who have mysteriously shown up at my front
door when my heart was at such a low place and changed my day with just a
conversation about “nothing.” I pray
that I will always choose to rebuke satan when he tries to tell me that I need
to save that money on those flowers.
The time I spent working on those flowers, delivering them, visiting,
and then finally watching those flowers on my table come back to life……. I
couldn’t have paid for that life lesson if I had tried to. I can find $0.99 cents in my couch cushions
and let me tell you it’s worth it.
Saturday, July 4, 2020
today has been difficult, this week has been difficult, employees are struggling, and most of all I am struggling!!
This year has been difficult.........
This week has been difficult......
This month has been difficult........
People are struggling.
Employees are struggling.....
I AM STRUGGLING!!!!!!
Today seemed to be a breaking point where I couldn't deal with much more and had to break down and feel everything that had been thrown at me. I did wait until I got home to vent to my loved ones. I feel sad that they have to deal with that straight on. I mean we do have family stuff going on.
My friends and family don't necessarily understand......
I am not really sure why I understand.
Today was a day in which we had a short lesson on how temporary life really is. Here one minute and gone the next. breaks my heart to deal with these issues.
and still on a very small scale -- I am dealing with not having control of my living space. which seems so petty comparatively. I have had control of my living space since I was 19...... that was 31 years ago.
so I am struggling. I feel like I should have it all together, but I do not.
However, I love my work at this office. I cannot wait until we go forward and great things happen
Love your family fiercely and never forget to tell them how much. :)
Tuesday, December 3, 2019
Who was Carolyn Lee? (Eulogy for my Mawmaw)
unworthiness....
I was watching the last episode of Oprah a few months ago. Oprah spoke about the lessons that she hoped people learned from watching her shows. I have to say that some of her final comments that day struck me more than anything I have heard her say over the last 20 years. I was able to find a transcript of her final show online.
"Because whether it’s heroin addiction or gambling addiction or shopping addiction or food addiction, work addiction, the root is all the same. There is a common thread that runs through all of our pain and all of our suffering, and that is unworthiness. Not feeling worthy enough to own the life you were created for. Even people who believe they deserve to be happy and have nice things often don’t feel worthy once they have them.
You’re worthy because you are born and because you are here. Your being here, your being alive makes worthiness your birthright. You alone are enough."
So from those words in 2011, if you are reading this and struggling with feeling unworthy. You are not alone. Sometimes we tell ourselves that we are not worthy of being loved unconditionally. Sometimes we sabotage relationships because we feel like its all going to fall apart anyway. Sometimes we turn to drugs or alcohol because our feelings are too intense to handle. Sometimes we throw our hands up in the air and quit because there is no way that you are smart enough or capable of handling those tough situations.
Whatever it is that you are struggling with today..... in the words of Oprah Winfrey; " You are worthy.....You alone are enough."
Thursday, July 4, 2019
It's been awhile.... just a few random thoughts.
What is Life?
Years ago some friends and neighbors, used to have evening conversations in the culdesac at the end of a long day. We would all sit around and talk and then suddenly out of the quietness one night I spoke up. I
innocently ask, "What is the meaning of life?" We would have a good laugh but that phrase became a catalyst for some pretty deep conversations later as that friend group began to see a lot of life issues really quickly.
Well, here I am 10 years later still contemplating the very meaning. We will understand it all better by and by.
Love yall.